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Sunday, March 2nd, 2003

Posted by:village.
Time:2:16 pm.


Timberlake Gets Inked

Justin Timberlake is following in the footsteps of hip-hop stars like Redman, Nas and Eminem. He is the proud new owner of art by the very talented Mark Machado. Now before you rack your brain trying to figure if where you've seen Mark's work before, we'll come clean with you. Mark's work hasn't been in any galleries.

Mark is a tattoo artist and prefers the handle Mr. Cartoon. That’s right Mr. Timberlake has acquired a very new tattoo displayed proudly on his back. The tattoo shows a cherub carrying a banner with his mother’s initials on them and the word "guardian".

We were curious about the meaning behind Timberlake’s new tattoo, so we recruited the help of the world-renowned tattoo symbol expert Chic RoMerra.

The Improbable: Thank you for taking time in your busy schedule to talk to us Chic.

Chic Romerra: It is a pleasure.

Improbable: What do you think the meaning is behind Justin’s new tattoo and what do you think it says about him?

CR: Well let’s start with the angel. Angels have always had great meaning. Angels in the bible translates Greek and Hebrew words as messenger. So, we can only believe that Mr. Timberlake feels like he is here to bring us messages. To show us the way.

Improbable: Ok…

CR: Now, if we continue to the word Guardian above the Angel we can see that he is clearly demonstrating that he is our guardian angel. He is our heavenly companion. You see, in the medieval times guardian angels were said to watch over men until the time of death. When death came they would wrap their arms around the men in a blissful embrace and would take them to paradise where the men would have endless sexual delights bestowed on them.

Improbable: So you’re more or less saying that Justin Timberlake is our sexual slave?

CR: No, no, no. For a slave is owned. He freely gives us – and by us I mean men – pleasure. Now let us take a look at the star at the base of his neck. Stars carry much meaning depending on where you are in the world. He is a Christian (Improbable - We believe that he is Baptist.) therefore it is safe to believe that he associates it with the star that led the Wise Men to Jesus. What this means is that he connects the star to hope, to prophecy. He sees it as something greater than himself, greater than us.

Improbable: Right…So then, where does his mothers initials come into this?

CR: They don’t. Take a close look at the tattoo, have you been able to discern anything resembling an L and an H?

Improbable: Sure, the initials are right beside the angel’s hand. They’re barely discernable but they’re there.

CR [ignores The Improbable and continues]: It doesn’t exist. Although you are correct that initials are there, they in fact read “J.T.” for Justin Timberlake and look very much like the font he used on the face of his Justified CD. Again this all goes back to him feeling like a messenger. Even the celestial backdrop shows his need to be considered a heavenly body.

Improbable: So to summarize, according to you, Justin Timberlake’s tattoo symbolizes that he is our guardian, here to send us messages and pleasure men sexually because he has a heavenly body?

CR: Hmm, yes. That sounds correct.

The Improbable won’t try and argue with that one.


- K
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, September 25th, 2002

Posted by:village.
Time:6:30 pm.
Boy Band Rivalry Gets Complicated.


Nick Carter and Justin Timberlake have been going neck at neck in an on going competition for the last couple of months. Most people would assume that the long time rivals would be spending their time competing to win the battle of their solo album seesaw but they would be wrong. These golden boys are contending for the hand of the brash, the rash, the loud-mouthed Avril Lavigne.

The competition has been on going for months. Both men have even gone so far as to bring up Lavigne’s name in every interview they’ve had in the last couple of months. Carter even took the bull by the balls and called Justin out on air, demanding that they take it to court – the basketball court that is, where they could play it out like real men. Last week we called Timberlake’s people for his response to Carter’s daring challenge; They have yet to return our phone calls.

As for the attraction the two pop idols have for the punk, pop princess no one can really explain it – especially for Timberlake who has been linked with a number of foxy senorita’s in the last couple of months (see: "That's What Friends are For") – but a few are guessing. Many say that Avril is completely unlike the previous girlfriends of both men and that’s why they are so keen to be her sk8ter boi.

“She’s everything Britney wasn’t.” Says one close source to Timberlake. “She’s a brunette for one. And...she’s so real. She tells it like it is. And she does cool things like tell people to f--- off, you know?”

With all those things going for Lavigne, Timberlake’s interest is somewhat understandable but does he have what it takes to go against the “edgier” Carter for her heart and her skateboard?

CJ. Chavez, a member of the group Timberlake was once part of, thinks he does. “Oh definitely! Justin can do anything he sets his mind to. He’s everything a guy could want to be. Charming, talented, caring, sensitive...” Chavez is moved to tears and has this reporter clutching a Kleenex as well. “I mean, so he doesn’t call us anymore and he may have undermined my solo career…and yeah so he lied about going down on Britney Spears – and yes he was lying. Justin Timberlake goes down for no one not even m—uh…Excuse me.”

And that Improbable readers is another article for another day.

As for Lavigne herself, what does she have to say about all this? The Improbable caught up with her at this year's VMAs to find out. “I’m not f---ing surprised. Now get the f--- out of my way.”


*
Comments: Read 8 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, September 22nd, 2002

Subject:Justin Incredible!
Posted by:kare.
Time:7:39 pm.
Exclusive to The Improbable!

That's What Friends are For

Since his recent breakup with Britney Spears, pop star Justin Timberlake seems to have stepped up efforts to be seen as a ladies man, stepping out with some of the entertainment world's most eligible women.

Only weeks after word spread that he and Spears had called it quits, Timberlake, 21, was linked to non-other-than pop diva Janet Jackson, 36. Sources reported the pair doing a little public choreography and canoodling during Missy Elliott's recent birthday festivities. Sources close to the pair refused to comment on the relationship, however, saying only that "the two are good friends."

Only days after being seen with Jackson, Timberlake was reportedly seen out on the town with Spears' rival, Christina Aguilera. When approached for verification, representatives of both parties would only say, "Justin and Christina are very close. They consider each other good friends."

Directly after the headline-grabbing break-up with Spears, Timberlake was romantically linked with back-up dancer Jenna Dewan, spurring rumors that she may have been one of the reasons for the pop-duo's split. A recent appearance at a dance club by all three had sources reporting a passionate "dance-off" between Timberlake and Spears. Friends of Dewan and Timberlake deny any romantic connections saying, "they're just good friends."

Most recently, Timberlake is rumored to be spending quality time with Charm-er Alyssa Milano. The pair has been seen hitting the town in recent days and Timberlake is reportedly a frequent visitor to Milano's set trailer. When asked about a possible relationship, representatives of both parties would only say, "Justin and Alyssa are having a good time getting to know each other, but they're just good friends."

-end-
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Tuesday, August 13th, 2002

Subject:Bass Space Oddessy Exclusive
Posted by:sandyo.
Time:10:45 pm.
Mood:nervous.
To Space or not To Space... That is the Question

The Improbable has been kept busy of late with stories flying from the Russia Space Agency on the status of the Soyez Space Trip, including Nsync member, Lance Bass. Reports from August 1st and 2nd provided hope that the shuttle would leave by mid October. By the 3rd that date had been pushed back to the end of the month. However on the 4th startling news was announced that the trip may have been post-poned... indefinitely. However by the 7th all signs once again pointed toward go. Until the 11th when contract and money problems surfaced, forcing Bass off the flight for the time being.

Today, The Improbable is bringing you an exclusive that once again the space launch is on again, with Bass as a guaranteed passenger.

Keep reading The Improbable, as news comes every few minutes about the space traveler.
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Monday, August 12th, 2002

Subject:EXCLUSIVE--JC Chasez's not so model behaviour
Posted by:kare.
Time:6:56 pm.
Look inside to find out the inside scoop from The Improbable about pop star JC Chasez's night on the town!

Sew...so?Collapse )
Comments: Read 10 orAdd Your Own.

Subject:EXCLUSIVE: Interview with Lance Bass' Fake Ex-Girlfriend's Ex-Sister-In-Law
Posted by:butterfly.
Time:3:15 am.
One of the talented staff writers of The Improbable managed to get one of the most revealing interviews about Lance Bass that this editor has ever edited. Our source for this interview has requested that she remain anonymous, so we will use the abbrievation LBFEXESIL throughout this article.

See inside for moreCollapse )
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, August 11th, 2002

Subject:EXCLUSIVE. Track Listing of Justin Timberlake's Solo Album.
Posted by:village.
Time:8:03 pm.
Mood:amused.
The Improbable has been told by our reliable sources that Justin Timberlake’s solo album has been leaked out on the internet. While we couldn’t obtain the sound clips (but we’re positive we’ll have some in the next year) we do have the album title and we have also uncovered the track listings for the new album.

See inside for moreCollapse )
Comments: Read 9 orAdd Your Own.

Subject:Hello!
Posted by:village.
Time:12:41 pm.
So this community is for readers and writers who are amused by entertainment tabloid magazines and articles.

I thought it would be interesting to have our own entertainment tabloid on LJ, where instead of waiting for other people to come up with the news stories, we could do it. Anyone can join and anyone can write the articles.

It might be fun and who knows, you might just get some fanfiction ideas.
Comments: Read 11 orAdd Your Own.

LiveJournal for The Improbable.

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