Diana (butterfly) wrote in the_improbable,

EXCLUSIVE: Interview with Lance Bass' Fake Ex-Girlfriend's Ex-Sister-In-Law

One of the talented staff writers of The Improbable managed to get one of the most revealing interviews about Lance Bass that this editor has ever edited. Our source for this interview has requested that she remain anonymous, so we will use the abbrievation LBFEXESIL throughout this article.

The Improbable: Thank you for approaching us about this interview, [LBFEXESIL].

LBFEXESIL: It was my pleasure. I wanted to let everyone know about the real Lance Bass.

TI: The most appropriate place to start would be to ask about the 'fake' nature of the ex-girlfriend in question.

LBFEXESIL: Well, they were never a real couple. It was all smoke and mirrors, really.

TI: Are you confirming the rumours about Lance Bass' sexuality?

LBFEXESIL: What? That he's gay? Oh, definitely not. He's as straight as my husband.

TI: Your ex-husband?

LBFEXESIL: Right. That's what I meant.

TI: Would you be willing to tell us why Lance Bass had a 'fake' relationship?

LBFEXESIL: He doesn't really like sex. And my sister... ex-sister-in-law, didn't really consider him a boyfriend because he wouldn't, well, couldn't get it up for her.

TI: But he's not gay?

LBFEXESIL: No. He's just not into sex.

TI: Ah. And how much time did you spend with Mr. Bass while he was dating your then-sister-in-law?

LBFEXESIL: Oh, I didn't ever actually meet him.

TI: You said at the beginning of the interview that you had the scoop on the real Lance Bass. Would you care to elaborate on that?

LBFEXESIL: Oh, totally.

TI: Please continue.

LBFEXESIL: Right. He wears contacts.

TI: Could you please expand on that?

LBFEXESIL: He wears colored contacts. His eyes? Actually light blue.

TI: Well, that is interesting. Thank you for your time, [LBFEXESIL].

LBFEXESIL: It was my pleasure.

- B
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