The Improbable: Thank you for approaching us about this interview, [LBFEXESIL].
LBFEXESIL: It was my pleasure. I wanted to let everyone know about the real Lance Bass.
TI: The most appropriate place to start would be to ask about the 'fake' nature of the ex-girlfriend in question.
LBFEXESIL: Well, they were never a real couple. It was all smoke and mirrors, really.
TI: Are you confirming the rumours about Lance Bass' sexuality?
LBFEXESIL: What? That he's gay? Oh, definitely not. He's as straight as my husband.
TI: Your ex-husband?
LBFEXESIL: Right. That's what I meant.
TI: Would you be willing to tell us why Lance Bass had a 'fake' relationship?
LBFEXESIL: He doesn't really like sex. And my sister... ex-sister-in-law, didn't really consider him a boyfriend because he wouldn't, well, couldn't get it up for her.
TI: But he's not gay?
LBFEXESIL: No. He's just not into sex.
TI: Ah. And how much time did you spend with Mr. Bass while he was dating your then-sister-in-law?
LBFEXESIL: Oh, I didn't ever actually meet him.
TI: You said at the beginning of the interview that you had the scoop on the real Lance Bass. Would you care to elaborate on that?
LBFEXESIL: Oh, totally.
TI: Please continue.
LBFEXESIL: Right. He wears contacts.
TI: Could you please expand on that?
LBFEXESIL: He wears colored contacts. His eyes? Actually light blue.
TI: Well, that is interesting. Thank you for your time, [LBFEXESIL].
LBFEXESIL: It was my pleasure.